Monday, April 7, 2014

I Need to Rant or I'm Going to EXPLODE

This post contains spoilers, if you don't want to know what's going to happen don't read it.

These last couple of days have been INFURIATING for me. As some of you know from my Season 1 posts I get WAAAAAAY too in to the game, I'm almost as passionate about it as I am about my beloved New England Patriots, and my love for them actually put me in the hospital once, no joke. I started this blog because of how pissed off I was about what production did to Tom with the powershift and the terrible edit. I wish I could be like my good interwebs friend Hamsterwatch and just be emotionally detached but that's just not who I am.

So, it all started when Kenny won veto, which as we learned last night was helped in part by Adel. Great move Adel, telling Heather to not backdoor Kenny, that worked out REALLY FUCKIN WELL didn't it? So then we found out that the replacement nominee would be Sarah. I love Sarah, I think she's sexy and a good person (for the most part) and I was devastated to hear that Heather was going to put her up and MAKE HER THE FUCKING TARGET over Slobrina, Airhead Rachelle, or Allison. THEN I find out that Plan B (Arlie, Jon, Neda, Heather and Adel) have brought Allison in to their alliance. That just blew my mind, I mean how fucking stupid can you get?!? She's going to betray you for the other side, for her idiot man Andrew's side, are you fucking blind?!? She wants revenge for her long term boyfriend of what, 2 whole weeks!

So, fast forward to yesterday and Big Brother puts a clue in a new set of flowers in the house. Neda, who wouldn't make me disgustingly sick if she found the prize, looks in the flowers but of course doesn't find the clue. Guess who does.

Allison.

Of all the fuckin people... Allison.

I think this was patently unfair, it's just luck that she happened to notice the flower pot before anyone other than Neda did, also when she finds the first clue she takes it, making it impossible for anyone else to find it. I don't blame her for that, I blame this fucking idiot production crew for not putting on the clue that you had to put it back where you found it when you were done reading it. Or maybe tell all of the houseguests that there were clues in the house so they'd all have a chance to find it. But nah, that'd be fair, can't have any of that "fair" stuff on Big Brother Canada.

The worst part of all of this was listening to people on twitter and in chat rooms cheer her the fuck on... I felt like screaming at them THIS IS ALLISON YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS!!! THE SAME DUMB BITCH WHO LIED TO ALL OF CANADA TO GET IN THE FUCKIN HOUSE BY SAYING SHE'D TARGET KING DOUCHE ANDREW AND THEN ENDED UP BECOMING HIS SEX TOY AND AN EXTRA VOTE FOR F5!!!


I mean really how fuckin stupid are people? What the fuck does this girl have to do to get people to hate her? Oh, she killed a puppy, yeah that's bad but OOOH SHE'S SEARCHING FOR A HIDDEN VETO!!! It's like if you dangle something shiny in front of these idiots they won't be able to look away. I said that I hated watching good things happen to bad people and one dumb bitch asked me "why is she a bad person, because she made out with Andrew?" No you dumb bitch it's not JUST because she made out with Andrew, it's because she LIED to ALL OF FUCKING CANADA to get her ditzy fuckin ass into the house!!! THEN she made out with the biggest douche in the house. Like are you fuckin joking? Are you kidding me? I swear production could put Hitler in there and there would be people cheering him on, and I'm not talkin Neo nazis either, I'm talkin normal dumb people who are like "OH IF HE'S ON TV HE MUST BE GOOD!"


That's the worst part of all of this, not all the stuff that's happened in the house. It's watching my fellow human beings cheer this skank on. When stuff like this happens it makes me feel like an alien on my own planet. I just can't contemplate how these people are the same species as me. She gave that idiot a hand job with 50 fuckin cameras on her people, and she KNEW they were there. Fuck come on climate change, come on small pox, come on nuclear war, ANYTHING that will wipe this miserable fuckin species off the face of the Earth. We're too stupid to be allowed to live.

So she finds what we all believe is the hidden veto and then today right before the veto ceremony Jon tells her she's safe and she DOESN'T USE IT! My ONLY hope for a happy ending was that she'd expend all this time and effort on it and then not use it, but no no not during this season from Hell. I have no doubt production told her that she was safe or made it so she couldn't use it this week. Ladies and gentlemen I think we've found our Gary for season 2 and her name is Allison.

What do I mean by that? Season 1 was clearly rigged for Gary to win, only Topaz's epic fail at the end prevented it from happening. This time I fear we won't be so lucky. And I know EXACTLY what's going to happen when production rigs the game for her. (spoiler alert!) She'll hook up with Andrew and she'll give him all the money for some dream project of his because she's a dumb bitch and he'll keep telling her he loves her and juuuuuust when the check clears and she has no recourse he'll dump her ass and laugh off into the sunset, living a fantastic life and giving Canada the finger as he goes.

I said this last year and Tom talked me out of it, and because my daddy raised me right I felt honor bound to keep watching this season and blogging on it because he's been so gracious to me. But this time nothing will stop me. I am DONE with Big Brother Canada after this season is over. Liza, Rachel Reilly, Katy Perry and Christina Hendricks could all offer me as many nights of unbridled passion as I could ever dream of if only I watched season 3 and I'd still say no, THAT'S how fuckin pissed this production crew makes me. And the fans? Not all of them are idiots, there are some out there who aren't in love with Allison or Kenny or Andrew, but there are far too many who are and it just drives me nuts.

So that's my rant, if you agree with me great, glad to hear you're sane. If not please go stick your head in a wood chipper.

/rant

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