I Need to Rant or I'm Going to EXPLODE

This post contains spoilers, if you don't want to know what's going to happen don't read it.

These last couple of days have been INFURIATING for me. As some of you know from my Season 1 posts I get WAAAAAAY too in to the game, I'm almost as passionate about it as I am about my beloved New England Patriots, and my love for them actually put me in the hospital once, no joke. I started this blog because of how pissed off I was about what production did to Tom with the powershift and the terrible edit. I wish I could be like my good interwebs friend Hamsterwatch and just be emotionally detached but that's just not who I am.

So, it all started when Kenny won veto, which as we learned last night was helped in part by Adel. Great move Adel, telling Heather to not backdoor Kenny, that worked out REALLY FUCKIN WELL didn't it? So then we found out that the replacement nominee would be Sarah. I love Sarah, I think she's sexy and a good person (for the most part) and I was devastated to hear that Heather was going to put her up and MAKE HER THE FUCKING TARGET over Slobrina, Airhead Rachelle, or Allison. THEN I find out that Plan B (Arlie, Jon, Neda, Heather and Adel) have brought Allison in to their alliance. That just blew my mind, I mean how fucking stupid can you get?!? She's going to betray you for the other side, for her idiot man Andrew's side, are you fucking blind?!? She wants revenge for her long term boyfriend of what, 2 whole weeks!

So, fast forward to yesterday and Big Brother puts a clue in a new set of flowers in the house. Neda, who wouldn't make me disgustingly sick if she found the prize, looks in the flowers but of course doesn't find the clue. Guess who does.

Allison.

Of all the fuckin people... Allison.

I think this was patently unfair, it's just luck that she happened to notice the flower pot before anyone other than Neda did, also when she finds the first clue she takes it, making it impossible for anyone else to find it. I don't blame her for that, I blame this fucking idiot production crew for not putting on the clue that you had to put it back where you found it when you were done reading it. Or maybe tell all of the houseguests that there were clues in the house so they'd all have a chance to find it. But nah, that'd be fair, can't have any of that "fair" stuff on Big Brother Canada.

The worst part of all of this was listening to people on twitter and in chat rooms cheer her the fuck on... I felt like screaming at them THIS IS ALLISON YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS!!! THE SAME DUMB BITCH WHO LIED TO ALL OF CANADA TO GET IN THE FUCKIN HOUSE BY SAYING SHE'D TARGET KING DOUCHE ANDREW AND THEN ENDED UP BECOMING HIS SEX TOY AND AN EXTRA VOTE FOR F5!!!

I mean really how fuckin stupid are people? What the fuck does this girl have to do to get people to hate her? Oh, she killed a puppy, yeah that's bad but OOOH SHE'S SEARCHING FOR A HIDDEN VETO!!! It's like if you dangle something shiny in front of these idiots they won't be able to look away. I said that I hated watching good things happen to bad people and one dumb bitch asked me "why is she a bad person, because she made out with Andrew?" No you dumb bitch it's not JUST because she made out with Andrew, it's because she LIED to ALL OF FUCKING CANADA to get her ditzy fuckin ass into the house!!! THEN she made out with the biggest douche in the house. Like are you fuckin joking? Are you kidding me? I swear production could put Hitler in there and there would be people cheering him on, and I'm not talkin Neo nazis either, I'm talkin normal dumb people who are like "OH IF HE'S ON TV HE MUST BE GOOD!"


That's the worst part of all of this, not all the stuff that's happened in the house. It's watching my fellow human beings cheer this skank on. When stuff like this happens it makes me feel like an alien on my own planet. I just can't contemplate how these people are the same species as me. She gave that idiot a hand job with 50 fuckin cameras on her people, and she KNEW they were there. Fuck come on climate change, come on small pox, come on nuclear war, ANYTHING that will wipe this miserable fuckin species off the face of the Earth. We're too stupid to be allowed to live.

So she finds what we all believe is the hidden veto and then today right before the veto ceremony Jon tells her she's safe and she DOESN'T USE IT! My ONLY hope for a happy ending was that she'd expend all this time and effort on it and then not use it, but no no not during this season from Hell. I have no doubt production told her that she was safe or made it so she couldn't use it this week. Ladies and gentlemen I think we've found our Gary for season 2 and her name is Allison.

What do I mean by that? Season 1 was clearly rigged for Gary to win, only Topaz's epic fail at the end prevented it from happening. This time I fear we won't be so lucky. And I know EXACTLY what's going to happen when production rigs the game for her. (spoiler alert!) She'll hook up with Andrew and she'll give him all the money for some dream project of his because she's a dumb bitch and he'll keep telling her he loves her and juuuuuust when the check clears and she has no recourse he'll dump her ass and laugh off into the sunset, living a fantastic life and giving Canada the finger as he goes.

I said this last year and Tom talked me out of it, and because my daddy raised me right I felt honor bound to keep watching this season and blogging on it because he's been so gracious to me. But this time nothing will stop me. I am DONE with Big Brother Canada after this season is over. Liza, Rachel Reilly, Katy Perry and Christina Hendricks could all offer me as many nights of unbridled passion as I could ever dream of if only I watched season 3 and I'd still say no, THAT'S how fuckin pissed this production crew makes me. And the fans? Not all of them are idiots, there are some out there who aren't in love with Allison or Kenny or Andrew, but there are far too many who are and it just drives me nuts.

So that's my rant, if you agree with me great, glad to hear you're sane. If not please go stick your head in a wood chipper.

/rant

So I Did NOT In Fact Go Nuts

Anyone who read my post from yesterday might be forgiven for thinking I'd jumped off the deep end. But rest assured it was just an April Fool's joke, which you would have known if you'd clicked the link at the end.

I still loathe Andrew and Sabrina with all my heart just like the rest of you sane people. I was thinking Andrew was kinda changing a bit after the feeds came back, but then I watched After Dark the other night where Sarah was dressed in that super sexy cop's uniform. The shit he said to her reminded me of what Jon said "If he talked to my sister the way he talks to the girls in this house I'd break both his legs."

Of course, I comment on how smokin hot Sarah is too, but not to the disgusting degree he does and also I don't do it to her face like she's a piece of meat. Allison, you two are perfect for each other; an egomaniac and a brain dead bimbo.

Sabrina Releases Her Latest Album

I Think I've Made a Terrible Mistake...

When I found out Canada was going to be HoH I was THRILLED like most of us. Here was a chance to deal a blow to the First Five and specifically to our most hated houseguests Andrew and Sabrina. I worked hard voting and trying to convince others to vote for them, all because I didn't like them. But I was wrong, I know that now.

I got so caught up in the hate I forgot that Andrew Gordon and Sabrina Abbate are real people, and as it turns out much better people than I thought they were. Andrew has really opened my eyes these last couple of days since the feeds came back. I was expecting to see a bull in a China shop, someone determined to make everyone pay for the slight he received; instead I get this down-to-Earth guy who's accepted his fate and realizes the error of his ways! WTF?!?

Last night he had a heart to heart with Allison in the bedroom and it really moved me. I guess I was wrong to hate Allison because she must have seen in him what I see now.

What a beautiful couple.

I think that he was probably just acting the way he was because of the pressure of the show, I was feeling bad about it after midnight last night and Tom was nice enough to take my Skype call, I told him how I was feeling and he told me that he felt the pressure when he was on Big Brother Canada and it made him do things that he never would have done in real life. I'm sorry Andrew, I was wrong about you. I hope that when he gets out of the house he'll accept my apology for leading the charge to evict him, but I can understand if he wouldn't.

I thought Sabrina was just a heartless bitch but I watched After Dark yesterday and in the video I posted earlier of Officer Sarah you really get to see that Sabrina is a nice girl with a great sense of humor. I think she probably just has a lot of anxiety in the house. As someone who suffers from anxiety I know that much like love it can make you do stupid things. Things you'd never do otherwise. Also she probably had low self esteem because of her size and she probably thinks of herself as the least attractive girl in the house, imagine that kind of pressure when you're on a TV show.

So, thankfully for Sabrina at least it appears that she's not going home this week. I hope that she, or at least one of her allies can win HoH. I'd really like to see her go all the way and win, because at the end of the day she is an awesome player. You may disagree with me on my change of heart but there is no denying she was playing a great game up until Canada's HoH. I just hope that she'll forgive me for all the mean things I've said about her and we can be Twitter friends like Tom, Liza and I.

I thought about deleting all the mean things I've said about Sabrina, but that's the coward's way out. I'm a man, and a man stands up and takes responsibility for his mistakes.

Another thing I want to get off my chest is WTF is up with Jon? Ever since he won the veto he's been sooooooo full of himself; Andrew pointed it out last night in his conversation with Allison and I have to agree. I have to admit I was totally fooled by Jon but I'm not going to be any more. I'm now firmly on the side of Sabrina, Rachelle and Kenny and as I said above I hope one of them wins HoH so they can send him PACKING!

Anyway, that's my Mea Culpa. I hope that the rest of you can read this and at least keep an open mind, I know it's hard to let go of hate but hey Darth Vader did it in the end. LOL STAR WARS REFERENCE FTW!

If you still can't believe me check out this conversation on the feeds last night, it was really moving and what changed my mind about Andrew and Sabrina.

Thanks for reading.

Officer Sarah Busts Slobrina

Sexy Officer Sarah (Who I would LOOOOOOOOVE to be arrested by) nails Slobrina. The best one is Slobrina's 2nd F-Bomb. :D

Big Brother Canada 2 on Facebook - What if The World Was Run By BBCan Production?

3F Alliance - F**k First Five

Hi there! If you've found this page it means you want Andrew and Sabrina out of the house. Welcome to the #3F alliance, we take all comers who share our goals! 3F stands for Fuck First Five, but let's be clear here right off the bat. This doesn't mean ALL of First Five, just Andrew, Sabrina and if we need a replacement nominee Kenny.

Now look, I know some of you LOVE Kenny. I don't get it, but that's not important. If we have to vote for a replacement nominee you HAVE to vote for Kenny. Why? Because if you don't Andrew and Sabrina will flip this weak ass house and whoever else we put up against them will go home and we'll have Rachellika'd our HoH. I DO NOT want that to happen. Kenny won't go home over Andrew or Sabrina, we all know this. But we need him on the block or else we fail at getting rid of Andrew or Sabrina.

Now then, here are some tips to help you vote as much as you like.

---

Visit http://bigbrothercanada.slice.ca

Basically the site tracks whether you've voted or not by using cookies, which if you're not familiar are little text files that store information. These also prevent you from voting multiple times, so THEY MUST DIE! :) Also try if you can to vote in your account as it'll make your vote more valuable accoridng to whatever multiplier you're at. But the site is a real pain in the ass to get to do that so do what you can.

Edit: Ok, so it looks like I've got a way to vote multiple times with your multiplier intact. Here's what worked for me.

1 Open your private/incognito/inprivate/whatever window.
2 Go to the big brother site.
3. Sign in.
4. Vote.
5. Down to the bottom left where your profile pic is click "sign out"
6. When you're signed out close the browser.
7. Rince and repeat.

PRO TIP: I just realized that AFTER you log in in the private/incognito/whatever window you can open up all kinds of tabs to the site and vote in each of them.

So now you want to follow steps 1-3 THEN open up as many tabs as your computer can handle to http://bigbrothercanada.slice.ca and then vote in each of them then close all but one and follow steps 5-7. :D This will multiply your already multiplied voting power

Any of you who have different experiences let me know at my contact info at the bottom. GOOD LUCK!

Some ways to get rid of cookies.

#1 a Private Window in Firefox. - This is the easiest method in Firefox. Simply go to the File menu at the top of the screen, then click "New Private Window" then go vote, close the Private window, rinse and repeat.

#2 an Incognito window in Chrome. - Just like in Firefox this window lets you browse without saving cookies. For chrome you click the menu button

(the one that looks like this)  

and click "New Incognito Window" and do the same as written above for Firefox.

#3 Internet Explorer 9+ InPrivate Browsing - This one is even easier, just open IE and press CTRL+SHIFT+P. It works the same way as the Chrome and Firefox versions. If you have a lower version of IE do a Google search for private browsing and your version number.

#4 Safari - I loathe Apple with every fibre of my being, so when I actually include ANYTHING Apple related on my blog you KNOW how much I want to get rid of Andrew or Sabrina. :D Anyway, in Safari you just click on the Safari Menu and then Private Browsing.If that doesn't work search for Safari and your version number and Private Browsing on Google.

#5 Any other browsers or the above methods don't work. - Do a google search first for Private Browsing + your browser name and version number. If that turns up nothing do a search for the same but instead of private browsing search for "delete cookies" The ones you want to delete are from bigbrothercanada.slice.ca.

3F > F5

Finally share this web page by using the address http://bit.ly/3FAlliance add #3F to your #BBCan2 tweets and get as many of your friends to vote this way as possible! WE CAN FLIP THIS HOUSE!

If you have any questions, comments, tips on voting, etc. please contact me @TheGr8tstManEvr, Brendan @bmcooney or @alteringpixels on Twitter.

Special thanks to Brendan Cooney of http://www.bbcanadainsider.com for co-founding 3F with me and for @alteringpixels who walked into the store room while Brendan and I were plotting and joined in with some great photoshop work. The hand signal in 3F comes from American Sign Language for the letter F which also looks like a 3 sign and like an OK sign (as in in OK let's get these fuckers OUT!)

Article on 3F by Co-Founder - Brendan Coomey

NOW SPREAD THE WORD!!!

This Week's Poll: Who's the Biggest Threat to Kenny and Andrew?

Mobile users can vote by clicking here.

This week's poll question: Who's the biggest threat to Kenny and Andrew. For non mobile users simply make your choice to the right of this post, for mobile users who can't see the poll the link above will take you to it.

You can vote once a day until the poll ends on Thursday night.

Unfortunately this is a difficult choice because the First Five (who's de facto leaders are Kenny and Andrew) knows about all of the threats to them thanks to Sabrina. I can't stand Sabrina but I have to give her props, she's playing a FANTASTIC game. Why anyone outside Kenny and Andrew trusts her is beyond me, but this cast isn't exactly brimming with intelligence.

My best guess as to who would be the biggest threat would be Neda. As I mentioned First Five knows about her desire to make a big move and get one of Kandrew out, but the problem for them is they also know Adel and Jon want exactly the same thing and I think they would view those two as bigger threats, especially since they think Adel has the Diamond Veto.

But, who do you think can take them down? (If anyone) Early returns show you all seem to be on the same page as me with 6 votes each for Jon and Adel and 5 for Arlie. Arlie is the true wild card, I'm just praying he can bring Sarah into the fold and doesn't wait too long to turn on Kenny, Andrew an Sabrina.

Big Brother Canada 2 on Facebook - With Apologies to Tommy Westphall

Exclusive #BBCan2 SPOILER! - What happens when the Numbers reach 4,815,162,342 ;)

Eviction #3

Note: No BBCan on Facebook tonight, sorry but I've had some real life issues eat into my free time and need to decompress. Will be back on Sunday %100 unless an enormous mutant star goat eats the planet.

So, this is the first eviction of #BBCan2 where I have absolutely no clue who's going home. I have a hunch, but it's not a sure thing like the last two were. That's good in some ways and bad in others. I like the pressure it's putting on the people I can't stand in the house, but I hate the pressure it's putting on the people I like in the house.

I'm completely in the dark on most votes, but here is how I think they're going to go, couple with my degree of certainty in my prediction.

PREDICTIONS

Adel - I think Adel will vote to evict Heather, I'm 99% sure of this. Only chance I see him voting to evict Paul is if he's so pissed at him and he wants to distance himself from him to the rest of the house. But given the vote is completely up in the air he couldn't know how it's going to go.


Arlie - Arlie is one of the wildcards. Unfortunately I feel like he's going to toe the F5 line and vote to evict Paul, but I'm only %60 certain of it.

Jon - Oh Jonny boy, I thought you were great until I saw how far up Kenny's ass you are. And if you're up Kenny's ass then Andrew has you by the balls whether you know it or not. I predict Jon will vote to evict Paul. I'm %80 sure of this.

Kenny - To paraphrase the infamous words of Topaz: I am %150 sure Kenny will vote to evict Paul.

Andrew - See Kenny.

Ika - I'm %99 sure Ika will vote to evict Heather if it's a tie.

Neda - I predict that Neda will vote to evict Heather, she hates Andrew and knows Andrew wants Paul gone. I'm %95 sure of this.

Rachelle - While she's beautiful, she's also a Mean Girl type and thus I believe she'll vote to evict Heather, tho since she's only said about 14 words since she came in to the house I'm only about %70 sure of this.

Sabrina - Sabrina will always sit, roll over, and do any tricks Andrew tells her to. She'll vote to evict Paul, I'm %googol sure.

Allison - See Sabrina.

Sarah - This is the one I actually have absolutely no clue about. I'm gonna predict anyway, but my certainty level is at %50.0000000000000001. I think Sarah will do the right thing in this Kobayashi Maruesque situation and vote to evict Heather. And hey, I like Heather but someone has to go after Kandrew and I think Sarah is getting sick of Kandrew's shit.

So, count these up and it looks like Paul will be evicted on a 6-4 vote. I hope I'm wrong though.

Expectations for HoH 4

There's an excellent 4 part series on PBS called "The Fabric of the Cosmos" in it I learned that while most of us think of space as empty it's actually not, space can bend and twirl and rip as if it were a fabric.

Why am I bringing this up? Because before I watched this series I might have told you that my expecations for this week's HoH were nothing, zip, zilch, nodda! But, since I now know that "nothing" doesn't actually exist I guess I'll just have to say that my expectations are lower than Sabrina's back when Andrew's feelin frisky.

Why? Because who can win that's actually going to DO anything against Kandrew? Ika can't play, but even if she could she proved she's as useless as a female stripper at Elton John's house. The 2 smartest players in the game, Arlie and Neda are going to throw it. Jon is so far up Kenny's ass the lump in Kenny's through is Jon's nose. Rachelle winning would mean another week of Mean Girls, probably focused on getting out Allison, er I mean "New Girl." Heather if she stays would probably go after Ika. Adel and Paul (if he stays) are my only hopes, and that's not much hope.

Big Brother Canada 2 on Facebook - Secret Power

My Cast Rankings So Far

So, I'm going to try to each week rank the cast in order of who I want to do well vs who I want GONE GONE GONE yesterday. (Spoiler alert: That'll probably always be Andrew until he's evicted) These aren't power rankings, they're just likability rankings.

#1 Arlie
I've liked Arlie from the beginning but I haven't been able to support him because he's part of the First Five alliance. (Or as I'm dubbing it Kandrew + 3) But I knew he was smart and thankfully he seems to realize that Kandrew are just using them and will turn on them when it suits their purpose. I also love Arlie throwing the HoH competition, it so reminded me of Dan Gheesling. He even kind of dresses like him.

The Return of The Mist?

As long as he keeps showing signs of independent thought, keeps using The Mist and keeps trashing Kandrew Arlie will be the player I want to win this game the most.

#2 Neda
Beautiful, Intelligent, and she hates Andrew. What more could a man want from a female Big Brother Canada 2 houseguest? I fear Neda is going to have an early exit because her only allies other than Jon is the girls alliance which is about as stable as Jell-o during an Earthquake, but this isn't a "who I THINK will win" ranking, it's a "Who I WANT to win" ranking. Next to Arlie, Neda is the most intelligent person who's on the good side of the house. I think she's the Luke Skywalker to Kenny's Darth Vader. (Yes, I had to make the obligatory Star Wars reference.)

#3 Jon
The #3 slot was a hard decision for me as you'll read below, but I chose Jon because next to Arlie and Neda he's got the least warts on him in this wart filled house. I think he's cool and I love how he plays the game, but he's too close to Kenny for my liking. I find that odd considering he says he hates Andrew and Kenny is always up Andrew's ass. I'm hoping he will be a part of getting Andrew out of the house, but I'm expecting resistance from him on getting Kenny out. Arlie and Neda hate both of them so they're 1-2.


# 4 Sarah
For exactly the same reason as Arlie (Membership in Kandrew + 3) I haven't been able to support Sarah. But Arlie is seemingly starting to get to her, which is great news. I debated whether or not to put Sarah in the #3 slot, but with her being so close to Sabrina I just couldn't do it, she can hurt the good forces in the house without even realizing it by giving that witch info which will go straight to Kandrew, do not pass Go do not collect $200.Still, I love Sarah. I'm a sucker for redheads, especially those of the fake variety and she has the most perfect eyes I've ever seen. What the Hell does that have to do with Big Brother? Nothing, I'm just a Big Brother groupie is all. See Stinton, Liza for more.

#5 Rachelle
Rachelle either is a hot chick who's got no brains or the best actor since Daniel Day-Lewis, but the pickins are so slim in this house she's in the top 5 just by default. She's part of the Mean Girls crew and I can't stand that, I know you're young doll but jeeze this isn't Jr. High anymore. I really don't have much good to say about her other than her looks because she's done jack shit in the house.

#6 Heather
I personally find Heather's voice kind of annoying, but it's not like she does it intentionally. I don't think she's a very good player and I don't think she's very smart, so she's just kind of here because the people further down the list I have bigger and bigger beefs with.

#7 Kenny
I don't like Kenny. He rubbed me the wrong way (figuratively speaking) with his pretending to be straight so he could manipulate the girls and he's taken up permanent residence up Andrew's ass pretty much since day one. Also he's part of the self-anointed leadership of Kandrew + 3. So why is he so high? Simple, because he's actually PLAYING THE GAME. Unlike the people lower down on the list Kenny is smart and really knows what he's doing in the game. He was the one who convinced King Andrew to get rid of a bigger threat rather than play with emotion. As much as I hate to say it I think he's one of the big favorites to win, unless the house can flip and Kandrew finds themselves in danger.

#8 Adel
Adel also rubbed me the wrong way from day 1, hence all the Facebook comics of the other houseguests hating him. But he's #8 because he hates Kandrew. He hasn't really done anything in the game, and even though he said that he knows Canada wants him to make a move given his winning of the #Buzzworthy challenge he's now saying he'll only use it to protect himself. So, much like Allison we put our faith in him and he let us down. The only good news is since he's changed his story 47 times since he won I honestly have no fuckin idea what his power does and if he's just bullshitting about not using it. Hopefully he uses whatever it is to target Kandrew. Still, I have to give him props for keeping people in the dark about what his power does, but I wish he'd go into a room alone and look up at the cameras and at least tell Canada.

#9 Paul
Like most of this cast, I don't like Paul. But, he hates Andrew and so do I so we have that common bond. Also as an obese gentleman myself I can at least sympathize with his plight, but still he volunteered for this show, I'd never be so stupid. He has had a couple of entertaining moments like the fake TV show, but not enough for him to get out of the bottom tier.

#10 Ika
I had real hope in Ika, real hope. And that was squashed when she nominated Heather and Paul. I got a faint glimmer back when she won veto, thinking this was the best chance to get Kenny or Andrew out of the house, but then she didn't use it so my hopes were dashed. Ika also pisses me off because she's so wishy washy, you never know what she's going to do because honest to God I think even she doesn't know. Also she's the ring leader of the Mean Girls alliance and is playing with emotion and not playing the best game. Her HoH could have been so amazing, instead she shit all over Canada's hopes.

#11 Allison
Oh Allison... you broke my heart. I was so excited when all the indications looked like you were going to beat Gary 2.0 and creepy eyes and get into the house and start makin some moves and start raising Hell! I mean here was a superfan of the game, someone who knew all the angles and would bring another Arlie like presence into the house. I was THRILLED you got the opportunity, and your very first move in the house, playing dumb when all the houseguests asked you why you were late, was a sight to behold. Absolutely BRILLIANT stuff...

And then this happened...

Can you taste the boogers?

Ok, so let me get this straight... You've been watching this game since you were 11 years old, you've been literally waiting YEARS for this opportunity. You go into the war room and get a chance to watch what's going on in the house, albeit without sound, you get voted in BY CANADA to go in and make some moves and shake this house up. Oh, and let's not forget YOU'VE SEEN ANDREW PICK HIS NOSE AND EAT IT, and you go into the house and hook up with the biggest asshole in there and then laze around like you're on vacation?!? To say Allison was a disappointment would be the understatement of all Big Brother Canada history. That'd be like saying Gary is a little eccentric, or Tom is got a slightly bad edit. I so wanted to root for you Allison, I so wanted you to be the female Arlie. Instead I got Eva Braun...

#12 Sabrina

As I've said before every time I watch Sabrina on the feeds or on the show I feel like I need to go get tested for STIs. She's in love with Andrew and Kenny, the two people in the house I can stand the least, she is everywhere and funnels information back to them, she cries so often I'm beginning to think she'll die if she doesn't cry at least once a day and she's just creepy. I'm not alone either, in my weekly poll of who's the least favorite houseguest so far she's gotten %52 of the vote. The next least liked? Paul with %12. That ladies and gentleman is called a landslide.

#13 Andrew
Ahhhh, self appointed King Andrew, who oddly enough is like Tom in a lot of ways, but without the redeeming qualities that make Tom so awesome. I very highly doubt that if someone made an Andrew Gordon Rules he's treat that person anywhere near as well as Tom has treated me. This guy is so full of himself I think he might explode. He loooooves the sound of his own voice, he's a bully, he's got total control of this house through intimidation and he's generally a meathead. If he wins Big Brother Canada I'm going to become a Bond villain and make it my mission to destroy all human life on Earth.

Fun With Photoshop - Andrew's Greatest Love

So, Andrew had a "I Heart Bangkok" shirt on, but I felt that it didn't suit him, so I changed it to something more appropriate for his personality...

Happy Birthday to Tom Plant Rules

So, yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of the day I started Tom Plant Rules. What a crazy year it's been.

God willing, if this mostly terrible cast of season 2 doesn't drive me to drink I'll be here next year to celebrate as well.

I'd like to thank some of the people who've helped make TPR a success. Firstly, of course, the man, the legend, the one and only Tom Plant. Without whom there would be no Tom Plant Rules, at most it would just be called "Rules" which wouldn't make any sense at all. Tom has been quite simply the most gracious subject a fan could ever ask for. He's never once said no to me, even when I've asked for crazy shit. He raves about the Big Brother Canada on Facebook comics, he retweets every one I send him and he showed he can enjoy fun being poked at himself with my "Tom's Ego" and "Tom's Integrity" characters. Also he was super gracious in granting my piddly little blog an interview after he was unjustly evicted last year. I wish all of Canada could see the side of him I have. Thanks Tom, you're the best.

Secondly, Tom's nomance/showmance the beautiful, intelligent and kind Liza Stinton. Despite what her edit showed Liza is a wonderful person who's using her celebrity to do good work. (See my Liza Charity post from yesterday) She also puts up with my crazy fandom and blatant digital lust for her :D  Liza's never said an unkind word to me and always helped me out. So thank you Liza, your fans know what a great person you are.

Next I'd like to thank Dingo at @Hamsterwatch on twitter or http://www.hamsterwatch.com. Dingo (or hammy as I call her) has been extremely kind to me and helped an up and coming blogger find an audience for his silly comic creations. She's taught me about Big Brother history and kept me from going nuts with this mostly terrible cast this season. She's a fantastically nice person and I'm happy this project has given me the chance to know her.

Next I'd like to thank the creators of NFL QBs Talkin on Facebook at profootballmock.com who I pretty much stole the idea for Big Brother Canada on Facebook from. :D These guys created hilarious NFL themed Facebook chats and they were the inspiration for me to do what I did. If you are an NFL fan please check them out.

And finally, I'd like to thank ALL of the people who have visted my site in the last year. According to Blogger I've had over 15,000 page views since the blog began, and I hope each and every one of you enjoyed my highly opinionated posts or my goofy pictures, videos and comics. Here's to another year of the same support. :)

I Find Solace in Humor

Throughout the bad times in my life, there's always been one crutch I've found to be the most sturdy. Humor, and so in that spirit I made this to show how I was feeling about Allison selling her Big Brother self to the king of the douches, Andrew. It's a paraphrase from the greatest animated sitcom of all time, The Simpsons. Hopefully it brings a smile to all the disenchanted Allison fans like me.

I Know It Was You Allison...

I know it was you Allison...

...you broke my heart.

You broke my heart.

 

I can't believe I voted for this girl, I must say she had me COMPLETELY fooled. The only solace I have is that I was most definitely not alone. With 200,000 total votes in the Final Houseguest sweepstakes she fooled a lot of people.

 

I thought she was smart, a gamer, I thought she was a female version of Emmett. I thought she was going to come in to that house and rally against the First Five and blow it the Hell up. I needed a saviour, something to convince me that this horrible season wasn't going to go to shit.

Instead I get a sheep. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! And now King Andrew and his douchy court get yet another vote, and pretty much lock up this thing until final 6. The only way to get rid of any of the first 5 now is to have 2 of them on the block at the same time post veto, and even if that happens Allison is right there to step in and take that 5th spot. And you know even if that did happen it'd be one of the First Five I like who goes like Sarah or Arlie. You all know Andrew and his court jester Kenny are safe for a loooooong time.

I feel like all the good guys in the Star Wars prequels, all this time I was fighting for the wrong side, I was helping evil. I'm absolutely sick to my stomach.

But, I suppose it's my fault for believing in anything anymore.

 

People are still hoping that she's just playing him. And hey, I hope for that too but I don't see it. Pre kiss I'd have totally bought that argument. After this I don't. But hey, I'm old fashioned. I view a kiss far more importantly than today's younger generation seems to; for a lot of them it's akin to a handshake. That's the only hope I have, and a faint hope it is.

 

So if you'll excuse me I'll be (figuratively) searching for a gun to put in my mouth.

 

Bonus Big Brother Canada 2 on Facebook - Narcissology

Big Brother Canada Sideshow (Mostly) Gary (and This Week Scott) free version

Since people liked the idea so much I'm going to try my best to every week cut together a version of Big Brother Canada 2 Sideshow that edits out as much Gary as possible. Obviously I can't get rid of him completely but I've edited out as much as was possible without making the show 14 seconds long.

This week I've also edited out as many Scott/Contessa parts as well. Like Gary I couldn't stand the guy because he had little to no interest in the actual game and was only using the show to try to make himself famous.

I hope you all enjoy, I suffer through Gary so you don't have to. :)

http://www.firedrive.com/file/9AFADCA45E89DFC6

The Morning After The Night Before

Warning: This post contains spoilers, to view them highlight the red blocks with your mouse.

So, last night went pretty well. Not perfect from my standpoint but it could have gone a lot worse.

The highlight of the night for me was the crestfallen look on Scott's face when he found out he wouldn't be going in to the house.

Yeah, THAT'S the stuff!

Kyle going home was good for me. As much as I hate Andrew I didn't like Kyle either and Paul is starting to grow on me juuuuuust a little bit. I still think he's an idiot, but he's not as annoying as he was at first. And I gotta say that fake TV show they did was comedic gold. Reminded me of the good old days and the Tom and Liza show.

Though I'm thrilled to death that Allison got voted in to the house, I have to say there was a potential horrible downside that I hadn't considered. Andrew. He was all over her from the moment she got in to the house and it made me want to puke my face off. (Classic Mom from Futurama Quote) According to the fine people at Joker's Updates Sabrina says they were bedmates last night as well. I'm "hoping" that's just because Andrew was HoH and she's new to the house so it was just a logical pairing, but still. *shudder* Of course Sabrina is about as reliable as a final 2 deal with the legend that is Dan Gheesling but still.

I have to say that I was worried when the greatest host in the history of mankind told Allison that she couldn't talk about how she got there, but Allison is a smart cookie (despite the afforementioned Andrew socializing) and her "What? This isn't the premiere?" schtick was BRILLIANT! I really hope she can stay around long enough to  develop some non-Andrew alliance and make a run at winning this thing. Allison has immunity this week so hopefully she can use that time wisely. With these restrictions I was also concerned that BBCan2 would waste the awesome war room but according to the fantastic @Hamsterwatch the room will be back later. I'm thrilled to hear that, because it would be such a waste if it weren't.

Ika has been driving me insane by telling different people different stories about who she's going to nominate. At first she said it would be Paul and Adel, which would be about as useless an HoH as possible and essentially would be what I feared last night, another week of the First Five in charge by proxy.

Then she started saying Andrew and/or Kenny which if you read yesterday's post you'd know I'm COMPLETELY on board with. Though I'd prefer to see Andrew of the two go Kenny would be the next best thing as he's Andrew's closest ally. When Sabrina got wind of this (Seriously, why do people tell that witch anything?) she immediately ran to Kenny and Andrew like a trained dog and spilled her guts. Kenny then reportedly tried to intimidate Ika into nominating Paul and Adel. There's a brilliant idea, threaten the HoH. Kenny reminds me of Gary and how entitled he thought he was.

Then apparently Paul offended her by "throwing Adel under the bus" and she switched back to Paul and Adel. I'm DESPERATELY hoping that this is just a smokescreen to blindside Kenny and Andrew and keep their attack dog Sabrina off her ass for a few days. But time will tell.

Until next time dear reader I'll be keepin it off the record, on the Q.T. and very hush hush! (Classic L.A. Confidential Quote)