Saturday, April 6, 2013

I have a present for all you Tom and Liza haters out there.

Nothing pisses me off more than the Tom and Liza haters... well, maybe the Gary lovers but it's neck and neck. They say shit like NOBODY cares about them and EVERYONE hates them. Setting aside how stupid statements like these are in the abstract these people are the height of conceit. They think TOM is full of himself, yet in the same sentence they talk about how EVERYONE must feel exactly the same way about him as they do. As for me I know people don't agree with me, but I also know they're fuckin morons. Plus I never claimed to not be conceited. :D

If you don't like Tom and don't like Liza and yet constantly bitch about how they're all over the place and Oh My God I wish they would just go away and blah blah blah let me introduce you fuckin morons into a concept that admittedly may be too difficult to grasp. But if you can somehow wrap your microscopic brains around it you will find a joy that knows no bounds.

It's called Free Will. Webster's dictionary defines it as voluntary choice or decision, freedom of humans to make choices that are not determined by prior causes or by divine intervention.


When they were on the show, sure that's a different story. I mean you could have looked away or muted when they came on but that's tedious and I completely understand why you'd have felt like you had to watch them there, I felt the same way about Gary. I wanted to watch my favorite players but to do that I had to watch one of the most annoying, egotistical, and childish motherfuckers I've ever had the misfortune of encountering. AND I BITCHED ABOUT HIM! OH I BITCHED ABOUT HIM TO THE HIGH HEAVENS! But now that he's gone FREE WILL has given me the power to only have to see him one more time! At the finale, and after that I'll never watch anything with him ever again. (Unless the idiot producers bring him back for another season)

If you still can't grasp this concept watch the movie that was the inspiration for my AJ Facebook cartoon's title A, Jury (I, Robot) get it? a jury, AJ, huh? Get it? :D Speakin of AJ holy God I feel bad for that guy, havin to spend a week alone with Gary. If I were him I'd seriously consider self immolation.

Anyway, in I, Robot the main robotic character Sonny is given Free Will by his creator. (Oh, um Spoiler alert!) Plus it's a pretty good movie and Bridget Moynahan is fuckin smokin hot.

Tom Brady, you lucky motherfucker.
Anyway, Tom Plant RULES! and so does his lovely lady Liza. And if you don't like it then you, in the immortal words of Homer Simpson, can "go cram it with walnuts, ugly."

Friday, April 5, 2013

Goodbye Glitter, and Good Riddance!

Though last night's show pretty much blew as a whole it did have the best moment yet on Big Brother Canada, coming in the form of the most self-absorbed, (don't just ask me either the HG were saying the same thing!) annoying and mean (Just ask Talla) houseguest being given the boot in a 5-0 vote.

Oh, I'd like to thank the moron producers for robbing me of a reaction shot when he heard he was going by keeping the camera on Topaz. I guess they've never heard of split screens at Big Brother Canada.

Anyway, this was my reaction when I saw that moron walk out the door.

I'll never get why people loved this guy SO MUCH. Maybe, MAYBE before his blow up on Talla showed his true colors. But after that? Really people? REALLY? You're cool with a 6+ foot dude assaulting a 4 foot nothing girl? And he never apologized either! People hate Tom, in no small part because of what he did to Alec in the shower, but once Tom found out just how upset Alec was he felt terrible and apologised to him. Gary? NAH who cares. It's not like Talla's a real person right?

Gary is a spoiled brat plain and simple, and the thought that once this is all over he's going to be made a star by all the sheeple out there makes me physically ill. If there were any justice in the world he'd disappear back into the obscurity from whence he came never to return. Gary is obnoxious and annoying and I pray to god the peabrains who run Big Brother Canada don't bring him back until the finale and then he vanishes in a cloud of glitter.

Don't come back now, ya hear?

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Big Brother Canada on Facebook - Plug Ugly

Photo Credit for the Alec Cat pic@ChitownBB

Please People, Vote Ninja!

Don't make the same mistake you all made with the air hockey table. Ninjas are 10,000 times cooler than sumo wrestlers. If I wasn't worried about another voting powershift I'd have spent all my points on them. I chipped in a vote and did my part.

This shouldn't even be a contest. It's like Daniel Tosh says in one of his stand ups "Which is cooler Fireworks or a Parade? ... Fireworks right? I don't even have a joke for the moron who yells PARADE!" I feel the same way about Pirates vs Sumo Wrestlers.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Tom Visits His Favorite Fan in the Hospital

How anyone can hate this guy I dunno. He's been nothing but gracious with me and everyone else I've seen him talk to. Tom Plant Rules truly has new meaning today.

What a Difference a Month Makes

I was going through some old After Dark episodes, looking for some AJ screenshots for my Wednesday Big Brother Canada on Facebook episode when I found this. What a difference a month makes huh? lol.

Tom and Topaz, yunno just chillin.

Monday, April 1, 2013

The Greatest Video Since the Moon Landing

I literally can't believe I'm alive today, because when I saw this last night I damn near died laughing!

From the beginning the houseguest I wanted to see the most on Slop was Gary HANDS DOWN. And boy did he not disappoint. I'm so happy to see that moron on slop. The only thing that bugs me is since he's the target and barring more production interference will be going home on Thursday he won't get a full week of it. But oh well, I'll have to settle for 6 days.

Emmett was hilarious in this clip. Sorry Liza, I LOVE you girl but I gotta say I'm a fan of Emmett. He's not my fav, but I do like him.

I also love Peter a few moments before this clip asking Andrew "Is she (Topaz) eligible?" Gotta love Peter!

Liza Announces she's Opening Her Own Chain of Bakeries

We all know Liza is an astute businesswoman, so it wasn't surprising today when she announced on her Twitter feed that she's decided to capitalize on her Big Brother fame and her muffin catch phrase to open up a chain of bakeries.

I for one wish her nothing but the best of luck. I think her stores will be great and I hope one comes here to Haliwood in the not too distant future. I mean, they'd be FOOLS not to right? Halifax is prime real estate for coffee and donut shops.

Best of luck Liza!

Well THAT Was Fucking Awesome

As a Tom fan many of you know how much I can't stand the scumbag who put him and Liza up on the block and had Tom evicted. You know, this guy.

Gary digging for Gold.

I'm none too fond of his Showmance Topaz either. Well, I'm here to tell you watching tonight's episode I had at least 714 joygasms, and that was even before Topaz left the HoH room!

Oh my God, you have NO idea how much pleasure it gives me to see these two get their, as Homer Simpson would call them "Comemuffins" I find it particularly awesome that they're now in EXACTLY the same position that Tom and Liza were in. Oh my God when Andrew right at the end said "Gary, you said I should make big moves and that's what I'm doing. You may think that I've done this to get Topaz out, but I need to make a move for me, and that's why I'm getting you out." I literally came as if I was getting blown by Christina Hendricks.

Now, I also have to say that while I loathe Topaz I did enjoy watching her get bent over and screwed without a drop of KY jelly like Tom did at the PowerSHIT. But, I don't think what happened to her was cool, simply because I have to look at it as if someone I liked on the show was HoH when this happened. Like, if Emmett or Jillian or Andrew had been HoH when this happened I would have been almost as pissed as I was for Tom's PowerSHIT screwjob. But it didn't, so fuck you Topaz! Bahahahaha! Also, as Peter pointed out during the episode if this had happened to someone else they wouldn't have been so stupid and talked out loud to themselves about it! I love how Gary tried to scream like a little bitch to save his wife. "WE CAN HEAR THIS!"

I remember the night of Flashgate and how Topaz and Gary were taking so much joy watching Tom being sad and I don't feel one ounce of sympathy for either of them. Tom may not hate them, but Tom's a better man than I. lol.

It's hard to find a highlight in this episode because it was SO AWESOME, but I'd have to say it was Andrew putting Gary on slop and then Gary crying like a 9 year old girl about it. Emmett's Fruit Loops comment was also particularly funny.

I do feel horrible for AJ though, but if it had to be someone going from the 9 I would have picked either him or Talla. Don't tell Talla I said so though, RIGHT TOPAZ? BAHAHAHAA!

I also have to say Alec is working his way back in to my good graces. I don't forgive what he did to Tom, but it's understandable and he's been awesome minus the Tom bashing since then.

And so ends the best BY FAR episode of Big Brother Canada yet, I know who has won POV but that's a spoiler so I'll put it after this: Andrew has won POV and has the whole house on board to Evict Gary. Gary is GOING HOME and I couldn't be happier!

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